Salutations

This is an experiement. Apparently in the media or writing world everyone has a blog. Employers are asking me for my blog as an example of personal writing. So.....here is my attempt.

I am funny. I am crazy. I am an enigma wrapped in a question mark without a theory. I am a force to be reckoned with.

Here are some things you need to know about me ;)

1.) 99% of the time I am being, (or trying to be), funny, or sarcastic. - “Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive” In fact one of my FAVORITE sites is http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/ I am not just a member.... I also sleep with the President!

A.) Laughter and the rush of seratonin that it brings is the BEST feeling in the WORLD!!!!! I LOVE to laugh. Even more than laughing, I LOVE making other people laugh.

B.) Bringing joy to someone around me makes me happier than any high on Earth. FUNNY is attractive, enlightening, and endearing. It also masks emotions you don't always want to share.

2.) I taught 11th grade English. That year is when I started to understand why some animals eat their young. I love teaching and instructing. I LOVE being the "guest star" - the speaker - the coach - the instructor. But I hated the negativity of some veteran teachers, parents, students, and Administration. However, I really have a cool way or connecting with this age group. I get them. They think I am lame. I find humor in that.

A.) I say WORD! A lot. Don't blame me. I learned it from Vanilla Ice. Word... to your Motha..... It's a real generational thing. Like, groovy, or awesome, or FfffffABUOoooooUuuuSSSS! I read. I like words. I like being "punny" - Yeah, that's a word.... google it.... google magic my friends....

B.) I can name MANY Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, REO Speedwagon, Styx or Mr. Big Songs. Ice Ice Baby..... Ninja Rap.... Can't Touch This.... 2-Legit .... Sailing.... I Just Wanna Be With You.... You name it - I danced to it or sang it on the bus to an away game in high school. - I even still remember my HS Alma Mater!!!!

C.) I write and give seminars on The Stages of Group Development. I am a MASTER at this. I have actually given my version of this seminar over 200 times. Yet.... I am still blind when it comes to my own situation. - “What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.” - Don Williams Jr.

D.) I have to have a D because I am a Libra. I like even numbers. I HATE odd numbers. They make me uncomfortable. Plus, it's kinda the - "Rule of Thumb" - (and I hate rule of thumb. It's history. The fact that husbands could beat their wives with a tree branch, or switch, that was no wider than their thumb). Yeah..... I would beat a mo fo's a$$!!!!

3.) You can only hurt me if I allow myself to love you first. The harder I love you, the more you can wound me. I love God, my family, and my friends. Especially the SUPERFRIENDS!!!!! the Superfriends are my everything. Hurt them....and you choose to wound me anyway. You deserve the wrath. I mean that. Hurting someone on purpose sucks. It's mean and you make Jesus cry when you do that. You deserve creepy crawly things invading your personal space if you do that. And you make me angry.... you won't like me when I'm angry....

A.) If I hurt you and know it - I am the FIRST person to say I am sorry. I am more sensitive than I let on. - I get SICK over hurting others. Unless you hurt my family....then we are.....DONE!!!

“Last night I had a revelation - Somehow I have to make you pay - It's all about manipulation - And what it takes to get my way - I don't believe in soft solutions - No one makes a fool of me - Without receiving retribution - No one hurts me and goes free - I'll play on your fears, - I'll leave you in tears - You'll never be the same, my friend - You're walking a line, it's a matter of time - You'll never rest easy again - I've got the power to bring you down - I've heard it said, to err is human - It's forgiveness that's divine - I thought about forgiving you, butI want revenge, I want what's mine - I think it's time to settle scores now - It's time to set the record straight - You'll know it's coming, you won't know how or when, - you'll have to watch and wait - I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears - You'll never be the same, my friend - You're walking a line, it's a matter of time - You'll never rest easy again - I've got the power to bring you down - You know, it feels intoxicating - To be intimidating - It's invigoratingTo see you shaking - I've got the power to bring you down - You know something, you see it coming, You know I will stop at nothing.” - Red Delicious

B.) I have diahrea of the mouth and actions at times. It's like emotional IBS. It seems to run in my gene pool. I keep pent up and unemotional for as long as I can.... and then SPLAT!!! Emotions everywhere. So.... you NEVER know what I am going to say. Take me with a grain of salt. I change my mind more often than I change my socks. All I can say is this blog.... this experiment.... it just promises to be entertaining for all of us.

4.) I live every moment of every day 100%. When I am happy, I laugh from the belly! When I am sad, I cry from my soul. I think depression is just anger without motivation. Most people wish they had 1 real moment. I have 100 a day. I am an inspiration and a fear at the same time. I am not afraid of failure.... actually, I am more afraid of success. I have been a mentor to many but very few people have tried to lead me. I wish I had more willing mentors.

5.) I have a weakspot for kids. Children are our future. Keep them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posess inside. Give them a sense of pride..... I love my kids MOST of all! I am one of those shallow, dilusional mothers who thinks she has THE CUTEST and FUNNIEST kids in the WORLD!!!!!

6.) I am going through a life change. I have what I call LSD dreams. I have NEVER done the drug but I have disturbing dreams where I can't tell reality from fantasy. I wake up A LOT at night. I feel stressed, angry, and frustrated due to dreams...... So it's hard for me to say I'd rather be awake when I fall asleep.....

But instead of stressing.... instead of letting the terrorists win.... I will write. I will use my very small sliver of alone time productively. Or Introspectively.

God Bless.