I have been working around and with girls for a long time, and in MANY capacities. Being a girl is hard. Let me tell you, the pressure to look. act and be a certain way - it is exhausting.
I love it - don't get me wrong. Being a girl is really hard, but so is being really smart, or blindingly beautiful. *sigh* The burdeons we women bear....
Today I want to blab on about the beginning of the female Metamorphasis. We are gonna talk about the start of womanhood.... just the tip.... just for a minute.... just to see how it feels.....
Girls suffer throught what I call the "Ophelia" years. Usually, girls suffer through this between the ages of 13 - 19. We ALL suffer through this. Every one of us is a master of awkward situations. Doesn't it feel good to know you are not alone?
"Ophelia" is from Shakespear. She spends her time worrying how she appears to the men in her life. She has no personal identity. Without the men in her life, she does not exist. She lets her environment drive her to the brink of madness and never pushes back. Ladies - when push comes to shove... shove harder than your opponent.
The Ophelia years really begin when you buy your first Teen Beat magazine. (Yeah, I busted out Teen Beat. It ranks right up there with Ozone from Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo.) You start to get symptoms when you develop your first crush. When for the first time, you start to look outside of yourself. You first ,perceive others as cooler, better, prettier, skinnier.... Oh, the list goes on.
During this time girls can, and will be, girls. Here is a brief shesaurus of girlisms- Girls are:
"Miss" understood
"Miss" represented
"Miss" interpreted
"Miss" directed
"Miss" communicated
"Miss" informed
And a lot of other Miss words I can't think of right now. But all of those are a story for another time.
Perception is reality. What a girl perceives to be true, is her reality. Oh and that perception, it gets a little cloudy for about a week or so each month.
*Enter Eve*
I believe Eve was framed. She gets a bad rap. She needed that apple. I mean, any woman will tell you - at length - about how important fiber is in our diets. Ladies - am I right or what?
Eve knew we were the stronger gender and "took one for the team". Bitch.
This is when Ophelia kicks into overdrive. We lose ourselves and let others lead us. This is vulnerability at it's greatest. But it is also a time for introspection, learning, and experiementation. We begin to experiement with our character. Who do I want to be? What do I stand for? Why did I think I EVER looked good in that?????
This is also when we can make grave, and impactful mistakes. It all starts with Eve.... and sex.
Yes. Sex. I threw it out there. It's a taboo subject but everone on this Earth is here because 2 people had sex. Look, well get into that in MUCH more depth in another blog... today, I am going to leave my young female padawans with just a few words of experience and personal wisdom:
Everyone makes mistakes. I make a lot. Daily.... on many, many levels. But just make sure they are mistakes you learn from. If you are a single lady - or even a married lady for that matter - sex is something we see or experience everyday.
It's on tv. It's in our magazines. It's in our music. It is ever present and always trying to influence who we are and who we want to become. Don't let what the media puts out, mold you too much.
I am not going to go on a World Tour titled "Let me tell you how you should be living your life!!" I know the minute I do that, or feel it from others, I put up my deflectors and use those bad boys like Wonder Woman's cool gold bangle bracelets. ( Those bracelets were SO cool! Fashionable AND Functional?? Oh my!!!)
But I will leave you with this - When you are trying to decide how, when, or if, here is a little diddy - or mantra if you will - that I replay in my head:
If you don't want to - you don't have to - Tell them to FLICK off! - The box is locked so go jerk off. ;) Yeah - you'll be using that one on your next girl's night out. And there are hand motions and everything....
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