Have a PC Holiday!!!

So, I have been thinking about the holiday season. How can you ignore it? I mean, any half serious retail store who wants to try and extend the wrung out economy, has been pushing the "Reason for the Season" crap down our proverbial throats since Halloween!!

Here are my short but sweet weekend thoughts on the Holiday Season:

1.) Celebrate CHRISTMAS with a Capital C!!!!

You heard me. Don't be shy. Put on a cross. Dust off the Nativity. Pull the fruitcake out from behind the door and stop using it as a door stop.

Get an obnoxious blow up decoration and hang up green herbs with a red bow in your doorways and create uncomfortable social situations. String up lights, waste precious energy, cut down trees, and blame it all on religious tradition. Remember that you are NOT supposed to chew Communion Wafers.

For some of you, visit church for the only time since Easter. Or visit it regularly. Jump on the Jesus bandwagon! Don a shirt with a picture of Jesus with the letters brb, under it. Wear a rosary as jewlelry or break out the cross that your Godmother gave you at your communion or confirmation. Sing; Oh Bethlehem, Rockin' around the Christmas, Silent Night, or screw up the words to: Good King Wenceslas looked outOn the feast of StephenWhen the snow lay round about - Deep and crisp and even -Brightly shone the moon that night - Though the frost was cruel - When a poor man came in sight - Gath'ring winter fuel. - Drink. Drink too much red wine, or egg nog and cry over video reels containing Christmases of the past.

Be nice to everyone around you and be receptive to kindness. Understand that no matter what holiday other's are celebrating, it is wonderful, deserves respect, and creates a loving atmosphere that does not exist most times of the year.

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2.) Celebrate:

Chanukah, Chanuka
Chanukah
Chanukkah
Channukah
Hanukah
Hannukah
Hanukkah
Hanuka
Hanukka
Hanaka
Haneka
Hanika

Khanukkah , or Hanaka with a CAPITAL H! K! or CH! (depending on your orthodoxity....or whatever you rate your Kosher spirituality on....).

Drag your gift giving out over 8 days. Fast. EAT! Deflect family guilt with a well practiced diamond studded, deflective wall that has an opaque Shalom insignia frosted into the imaginary glass.

Lights candles. Play Adam Sandler's 8 crazy nights over and over again to drown out the obnoxious Christian Chirstmas music played in every elevator and retail store in America. Earworm those Gentile, bacon eating, Gefilte fish virgins with the song Dreidle, Dreidle, Dreidle during every awkward pause in their carols. Explain, AGAIN! that Hannukah Harry is not the Jewish Santa, he is not real, nor does he exist outside of SNL.

Be nice to everyone around you and be receptive to kindness. Understand that no matter what other's are celebrating, it is wonderful, deserves respect, and creates a loving atmosphere that does not exist most times of the year.

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3.) Celebrate Kwanzaa with a Capital KW!

Celebrate different cultures and reaffirm the bonds within those relationships. Give special consideration to the creator, in creation and give special respect for the blessings, bountifulness and beauty of creation. Celebrate the good. Bring forth the best of African cultural thought and practice. Discover the values of Kwanzaa.

Look. I am an Irish girl. Give me props for trying. I researched the HECK out of Kwanzaa. AND I want a BBFF more than any white woman in America. Oh I have some. I just want more. Once my girlfriend Jamilla taught me how to perm her hair, and a social appreciation for respect and celebration while being ultra cool...., it was all over. I will continue to study this until I can write a funnier bit about Kwanzaa. Until then, here are some media quotes on what the rest of us suspect is true, but those who celebrate Kwanzaa use as fodder for our nest in the "I told you so! I just KNEW it!" afterlife.

"I wasn't expecting God to be a black woman," Mack gasped.
"That's because you've never read any quasi-liberal, religious crap like this before," God laughed.
—The Digested Read of The Shack.

I’m not one of those people who’s, like, "Oh, God is black—is he going to steal the moon, or something?"
—The Sarah Silverman Program

A common subversion on the common "old white guy with a beard" take on God: God takes on the appearance instead of a minority group, usually either black or female (or both). Sometimes, this stretches across to other religious figures, such as the Devil or angels. Done well, it can be a subtle and humorous take on discrimination. Done badly, it comes across as an Anvilicious attempt at generating liberal guilt, and a particularly extreme use of the Magical Negro trope.

Be nice to everyone around you and be receptive to kindness. Understand that no matter what other's are celebrating, it is wonderful, deserves respect, and creates a loving atmosphere that does not exist most times of the year.