WAIT! Weight? It affects your public effect.

So, I have been involved with athletics for many years. I have worked with both male and female athletes and coaches. I have been an athlete myself. And, let's face it, I am a woman. A woman with a capital WOMAN! I understand ALL too intimately, the weight issue. I am like the Oprah of mid-life crisis, ex-cheerlebrity, VH1 fat club stars.

I am the yo-yo of: Weight should not define OR make YOU.... cause WAIT! It does for me! Most of my life it seems weight has been an issue. I noticed that WAIT! Weight can, and does affect your public effect. That is if you are an E! Entertainment junkie or read any form of media today.

Especially if you like Karl Lagerfeld. He tries desperately to put the "IN" in SKINNY! To be honest, he is SO rail thin that I can take him. I know I can. I am just waiting for the 2 of us to meet up in some dark, alley. It will be THEN that he will get some sense knocked into him.

Karl Lagerfeld, the eccentric German fashion designer, has waded into the debate about size-zero models by stating that people prefer to look at "skinny models", and those who do not are "fat mummies".
Lagerfeld, 71, was reacting to the magazine Brigitte's announcement last week that it will in future use "ordinary, realistic" women rather than professional models in its photoshoots. He said the decision by Germany's most popular women's magazine was "absurd" and driven by overweight women who did not like to be reminded of their weight issues.
"These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly," Lagerfeld said in an interview with Focus magazine. The creative director of the fashion house Chanel added that the world of fashion was all to do "with dreams and illusions, and no one wants to see round women".

For more on this story please go to: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/12/lagerfeld-size-zero-thin-models

On behalf of all of the girls who believe this garbage or are boycotting his clothing because of his insensitive behavior, I would like to wish Mr. Lagerfeld a Happy Slapsgiving! In other words, I would like to slap the happy out of him for giving so many women a complex. I have been out in the world trying to convince girls not to listen to this kind of stuff!! I am the ANTI-KARL!!

I would ask some of his models to do it but I don't think they have the strength or muscle to do so. Where is Tyra when we need her?!? C'mon Tyra! Embrace this!! Make Karl kiss your fat ass!! - (Or will that take you away from your self promotion? I know the world revolves around you.) According to Karl, his models are not anorexic. They just have psychological issues that affect their weight. So.... it's okay to be a headcase as long as it keeps you skinny? Tyra? Any thoughts?

I have been curvy. "Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."~Author Unknown

• "Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip."- Arnold H. Glasgow
  
• "The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again" - George Miller
  
• "Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork."~English Proverb

***************************************************************************

• I have been skinny. - "If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.
  
  
  "The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live."- Socrates
  
• I made a lot of friends over the years and I would always look at what they were eating. All of them were skinny. I would think that I would like to eat like that. Suzanne Somers
  
• Kids called me 'Skeletor' as a kid because I was so skinny. Cameron Diaz
  
• Tall, sandy blonde, with sort of blue eyes, skinny
  in places, fat in others. An average gal. Uma Thurman

********************************************************************************

And - I have been criticized both ways. I have been loved both ways. I have been sad. AND- I have been happy at both ranges of the spectrum.

It's amazing to me the people who consider weight a BIG issue. (ha! punny!) The same people who pulled me aside and told me I needed to work out were the same people who pulled me aside and told me I needed to gain weight.

As a cheerleader, I had stunt partners who would say things like, "You stunt really well for a big girl!" - I weighed 128 at the time. I also had people, at that same weight, pull me aside and tell me that I needed to work out so that I had a more effective public affect on others.

Then I learned something about my family history that I never knew. Stress. It seems to show itself in physical ways on my body. The harder I stress, the more agada, (Ah-ja-da. It's a word that means stress... heartburn... or general stomach upset), I feel. Agada makes it difficult to eat. Imagine waking up from a terrible flu or with a hangover that makes you feel sick. That is what stress does to me.

There was a time when I was SO stressed out that I felt sick all the time. I went to see Dr's. They told me it was allergies caused by my move from the north to the south. Then they told me it was IBS. The thing is, 10 years ago, IBS was not common knowledge. So doctors would shake their head, tell me to take Citrucel and drink plenty of fluids. So I did. And I ended up weighing 106.

I was called Anna (rexi). This caused even more stress. In a world of cheer, you are supposed to be happy! Put on your bow and a smile and cover it up. I laid in bed at night and prayed to gain weight. I begged God to let me be one of those girls who could eat and needed to go to the gym. Yes. These were actual prayers of mine. I wanted to eat! LOVED to eat. But couldn't. The more pressure I got, the more acidic production and ulcers that seemed to form.

What does a fat girl trapped inside a skinny body do next? She goes on meds to fix the agada. Those meds almost stopped the agada. But they also dried me up. They made me irregular. I know many of you women can relate. I ate apples. I drank prune juice. I drank gallons of water. Nothing. I feel like there is an cement foundation in my upper and lower GI.

Plus, they slow you down. Everything about you slows down. Your metabolism, your drive, and many other things. I felt like a herd of turtles racing through peanut butter. Slow and steady wins the race.

So this brings me to this past weekend. Although I am off of the meds, eating better, and trying to get hydrated, there is still the matter of the cement wall. I had a friend say to me, "So, I see you are working on baby #3!" Not pregnant.

Word of advice. Unless you are POSITIVE a woman is pregnant, don't assume. Especially once we give birth. Our fetal hotels and baby pouches, (FUPA's), are used to expanding. Just wait for us to tell you. If we are pregnant, we will yell it from the mountains so that noone mistakes us as fat. If we don't say anything, we are aware of the FUPA bump.

I mean, just the day before in the mirror I was thinking about how I looked like I was wearing Robin William's fat suit from Mrs. Doubtfire. I can think that about myself. You can think it too. You have my permission. But if you say it out loud, you open yourself up to a Happy Slapsgiving just like Karl. There WILL be a dark alley. I WILL be waiting. And yes, when you get slapped, I WILL put my weight into it. I mean, I am slapping for 2 now. Me and my agada.

So, this Thanksgiving, pass the turkey, stuffing and the desserts - TO ME! I will try them all. And you should too. Be thankful for the person you are. Don't let numbers get in the way of your happiness. And be kind to others. You never know when what you may say, even if you mean well, can affect a person.

The SUPERFRIENDS Roster:

Now, everyone has incredible friends. I always say that friends are chosen family. And in my case, I mean it! I have some ultra cool world, jet-stting friends. (We have been to London over 10 times, Paris, Puerto Rico, Spain.... whatever.... ;) We have been friends for over 15 years. We have gotten into a lot of .... fun ....

My best friends are the brothers & sisters destiny forgot to give me.

These Superfriends are the quinticential members of the FUN League of America! They are each exceptional individuals. They are a presence and a forceful being. And you know me, I am NOT prone to exaggerating.... at all....

Now, let's discuss some of the core Superfriend members in Kincade's life!! (** Note to readers- Kincade is my maiden name. For me to use it implies that you know the real me. Kincade is a persona... an alter ego who gets blamed for my silliness when the "real" JKU is cleaning up Kincade's mess.) - If I start using that term... especially when combined with Vodka or other festivities...... then look out!! My entertainment factor has set in, and we are in for a ride.... a magic carpet ride....

Now, although I am ready to hang my emotional fodder out for the national neighborhood to see, my friends and family did not sign up for that. Each Superfriend needs an alter ego... so I, unfortunately cannot reveal their true identities. I will let them do that, when and if, they are ready......

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is somene who loves you in spite of your faults.-Charles M. Schulz

I don't need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."

But like any epic character, they deserve a story - a story of their greatness..... A story that friends will quote when they are critiquing their own friendships.... When you need a standard of coolness or friendshipesque love... the superfriends should be your model!!

The silver friend knows your present and the gold friend knows all of your past dirt and glories. Once in a blue moon there's someone who knows it all, someone who knows and accepts you unconditionally, someone who's there for life.-Jill McCorkle

Here is our story......

The characters featured in the Superfriends series includes the primary characters: Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman. Other members include: Wonder Twins, Green Lantern, The Flash, Black Vulcan, Black Lightning, Apache Chief, Samurai, and El Dorado!!!! - These last few were intended to be international heroes and were created in order to encourage racial and cultural diversity.- or so Wikapedia states..... But those of us core members know that they were there since the beginning. Affirmative action just was not as prominent in the Dukes of Hazzard Years....

Boy Mexican... ** So... ongoing question... answer IF YOU DARE!!!! what are we discussing in THIS picture?!?!?!?

Okay... 1st thing you need to know about the Superfriends is that there are a few people that fall under the same category... but they fill the version in their own unique way... so although there may be a few guys under Superman or a few girls under Wonder Woman... we really fill the title with our OWN persona... and we each LOVE falling under the same category... it's not a down play... it's a SePeRaTiOn AnXiEtY thing.....

"Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!"

There are MANY Supermen in my life. Supermen consist of the male friends that I have that know how to work a cape!!! The Cape can CLOAK them for sure!!! ;) It can also shield them from falling puke from Wonder Woman after a LONG night of flip cup. They can fly and they each have 1 small source of kryptonite.... in their case - women.

These men are the BEST brothers and friends in the WORLD!! Not bro's like.. ewwww.. gross.. he's like my brother... but more like,... through the term of my life... he has been a true brotha from anotha motha!!! They love me cause we are friends!! Screw you "When Harry Met Sally"!!

These guys are in HIGH DEMAND!!! They are SO perfect in the male spectrum, that I almost feel guilty having these guys as my close and personal friends. ALMOST ... but not really at ALL!! ( Did I mention I LOVE eye candy!!! and good hugs. Who is gonna say no to a good hug?? How about a FANTASTIC hug??? A DELUXE hug?!?!?)

Next up: Batman!!!!!!

As a young adult, Batman worked to fulfill avenging his parents vow, by traveling the world to learn from masters of various defense disciplines. Eventually he became an exceptional escape artist, master of martial arts, acrobatics, science, technology, boxing, disguises, criminology and detective skills.

White Batman ...... I love White Batman. He is a REAL man. He loves everyone... even me when I am irrational, scared or angry!!!! He is so secure in himself that he was the Jack living with Janet and Chrissy... and all 3 were men. He is SO secure that he loves gay men as much as I do. He loves me ALMOST as much as I do to.... YAY me!!!

He understands me better than I do. He loves me and loves his friends as hard as I do. We are lucky that A LOT of those friends are the same. We did not make these friends at the same time... nor have we had the SAME experiences with these friends. But, when you and your partner can love the same people, trust each other implicitly, and smile and hug no matter what.... **deep Teen Beat sigh and awe** THAT is my idea of love.


Black Batman.....

He is just like white Batman, but he tastes and smells like chocolate. He smiles with lips that you wish you could kiss. He looks at you with eyes that you want to see joy in forever. He is the you that you wish you could be. He is the most beautiful person that I know inside and out. He has my utmost respect, love and admiration for life. I want to grow up to be JUST like him. Like Mary Poppins... She is almost perfect in every way......

Plus, Batman has the Batcave. Now, personally, I have been to the batcave. MANY, MANY times. Most of my friends have. It's legendary. If you have never been in the batcave with "The Bat" himself. Well, than you haven't lived. Honestly.

The Batcave is where you sit, listen, and think. It's where you learn that you wish the world was more diversified. It's where the best ideas happen. Inadvertantly, it's positively affected, literally hundreds of thousands of people. Don't doubt the batcave!! EVER!!

It's where you learn how to create a shield of understanding and patience. It's where the tools that the universe gave you teach you how to understand diversity and how THAT is what makes the USA turn.... although you wish it turned slowly....

And then there is Robin...... who likes to wear tights and shows his bear thighs....

Hey!! IF YOU WANT ME TO STOP PICKING ON YOU - GET AN F-ING FACEBOOK PROFILE!!! LOL!!

**Enter Super Twins!!!**

My wondertwin is a FABULOUS man who is my emotional, peer and soulmate. We are 2 souls that found each other during our "awkward - need a friend - need to love and have someone love me back - NO MATTER WHAT (way the Earth is rotating....;) !" Phase of our lives.

He is the Wil to my Grace. The Jack to my Karen. He is the be-all-end-all ultimate twin relationship. Together, we can - and have - accomplished anything. Apart there is a hollow dug out missing piece. We grew up together in ways that NOONE can understand.

There are too many heart aches, celebrations, mistakes, accomplishments, and understandings for anyone to permiate a realtionship like this. Stand toe-to-toe and listen to things you don't want to hear from your best friend!!! - And STILL love her, AND respect him AFTER they say it. And you can understand a microfiber of US.

Men will enter in and out of our lives... but we will ALWAYS remain true to each other! Love so hard that you cry from joy, laugh out of appreciation or excitement!!, Say the words: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY!! And have it means more than anything in the WORLD!! That was our first year together. 15 years later... It's like Gremlins that got wet, or fed after midnight.....

I wish you ALL friends like mine.

Wonder Women:

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".Clare Boothe Luce

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.Betty Grable

When people tell me a woman can never be president I say: "We'll never know unless we try".

These are the friends most tomboy-esque girls don't think exist. A "REAL" girl who is your friend, not a threat, and loves and supports YOU. You can tell her anything. She won't lie to you.. as a matter of fact... she is your FUPA, thong, bra-strap, nipple peaking, - orange belt wearing safety patrol watchwoman!! Yup. Ladies, I found a few of these elusive women. Just a few...

Outward beauty is not enough; to be attractive a woman must use words, wit, playfulness, sweet-talk, and laughter to transcend the gifts of Nature.Petronius

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. - Simone de Beauvoir

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

"For all those who hated???? It just made us more creative." - Missy Elliott - The Bitch Is Back

I am my own woman. - Evita Perón

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. - George Meredith

Now, I used to be one of those girls who boasted, " I usually hang out with guys. I have more guys friends. Girls are SO petty. They ALL talk about each other and none of them are REAL!" Then I met my wonderwomen.

There's a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God. - Sarah Miles

Then - I realized, to be a REAL woman.... like Pinocchio becoming a real boy.... you HAD to cut the strings. You can't let someone else be your fate creator. You have to be your own woman. There is NOTHING like a woman who has come into her own..... The energy... the magnetic draw... the EVElike stature.....

Treasure what mom taught you. She is the original Goddess... Take solace in what she taught you... BUT - be your own woman. Find your own path. Make your own way. It is then.... and ONLY then .... that a STRONG mother knows she did a good job.

When a mother KNOWS that she created TRUE - Wonder Women... she can rest easy. Beyond, environment, beyond gene pool; when a mother creates modern girls, girls who question, girls who test, girls who SHOUT their emotions from the mountaintop... THEN and ONLY then... can she relax, know she filled HER purpose in the world... and put herself completely into the next generation.

Because... no matter WHAT your ego tells you... the true purpose - goal - in being a REAL woman is to strive to make each generation of superfriends stronger.... more aware.... confident.... and respectful of the human nature. In the circle of life.... The women in the family are the HUB. Their friends are the spokes. The men are the rim and the children are the glue that hold them ALL together.

Eargasms, Jenisms, and NUH!!!!!

Probably one of BEST feelings in the world is an eargasm. Seriously. I should own stock in Johnson & Johnson Q-tips. I can easily use at least 10 Q-tips a day. This is one of those tiny quirky things about me. And it's contageous.....


My good friends have known about the eargasms for a while. I always have a plethera of wax removal devices within reach. Most of the time, I am SO intent on the maintenance of my little Pinna and the Meatus, - (notice how I just dropped that little bit of anatomy in your lap? Like I was a professor or something. That right. With confidence too. Almost made me sound smart too.... WORD!!), - that the canal itself becomes an intense nerve waiting to be satisfied.

My intense ear fixation seems to be almost Pavlovian. I think about my ear, or see it in some reflective surface, and the addiction begins. I tell myself, just this one time, just to reward myself for waiting so long, I will reward myself with a little itch. Just a quick one. I will not be labor intensive with my chore... it's healthy... everyone does it....I MUST satisfy this intense need. MUST SCRATCH THE ITCH!!!










I keep the woofers and tweeters on the sides my head clean, so usually nothing comes out. I have taken my eargasm seminar not only across the country, but into other countries as well. There are a few things you need to know about today's highlighted body part - the ear....

• Cerumen is the medical term for earwax.


• There are 2 kids of earwax: wet, (dominant trait), or dry, (recessive). Most East Asians and Native Americans are likely to have the dry while caucasians and Africans are most likely to have the honey brown colored wet type.
  
  

• I am caucasian AND I have the dry type - therefore, I continue my motto of: Proving People Wrong Since 1974!




• Fear, stress, and anxiety can increase the production of the ceruminous glands. That means if you are a walking ticking time bomb of stress or anxiety - **Ring ring! Pot? This is the kettle. You're black!!**



• Jaw movement helps to aid the natural cleanin process of the ear. You would think that would keep me safe from needing the Q-tip - and I do NEED it. But no, my flapping jaws has no effect on my audio addiction.



• Do you think it's coincidental that the company that makes Q-tips is named Johnson??? I mean, if you think about it, it IS metaphorically appropriate to suggest that cleaning the ear is sexual in nature.



• Think about it - you have a Johnson, and then you insert this object into a wet, moist canal.... the canal feels incredible.... That's why I say, in the scheme of life, I am glad I am the canal and not the Q-tip. Much more intense pleasure via the ear.

Now you can see why the name eargasm surfaces. It's a little "Jenism" I like to toss around. The word eargasm ranks right up there with some other "Jenisms" I would like to now introduce you to:

• Chesticles - the tiny excess fat that oozes out of your dress between the top of your milkers and your nasty arm pit. OR - For men, AKA moobs. Man boobs.


• FUPA - Fat Upper Pu... Area. It's why women eventually have to buy "mom jeans" they need the extra space to hide their kangaroo pouch or the Fetal Hotel.


• Switties - Sweaty Milkers.


• Swussy - Read the above and refer to the below.


• Mooseknuckle - a giant sized Yaybia stuffed into too little fabric.


• NUH!! - This is actually more of an Angelaism than a Jenism. But I officially adopted it and use it at length. Nuh, (especially if you make an ugly face and draw out the N and the H), is affective for stating how gross or strange the situation is.

And these my friends are my random thougths of the day. Take these, be disciples for the isms. They make for interesting conversation.

Peace be with you ... and also with you... **ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling**

Modern Punky Brewster and Gay Wolverine

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All the single ladies.... all the single ladies....

I have been working around and with girls for a long time, and in MANY capacities. Being a girl is hard. Let me tell you, the pressure to look. act and be a certain way - it is exhausting.

I love it - don't get me wrong. Being a girl is really hard, but so is being really smart, or blindingly beautiful. *sigh* The burdeons we women bear....

Today I want to blab on about the beginning of the female Metamorphasis. We are gonna talk about the start of womanhood.... just the tip.... just for a minute.... just to see how it feels.....

Girls suffer throught what I call the "Ophelia" years. Usually, girls suffer through this between the ages of 13 - 19. We ALL suffer through this. Every one of us is a master of awkward situations. Doesn't it feel good to know you are not alone?

"Ophelia" is from Shakespear. She spends her time worrying how she appears to the men in her life. She has no personal identity. Without the men in her life, she does not exist. She lets her environment drive her to the brink of madness and never pushes back. Ladies - when push comes to shove... shove harder than your opponent.

The Ophelia years really begin when you buy your first Teen Beat magazine. (Yeah, I busted out Teen Beat. It ranks right up there with Ozone from Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo.) You start to get symptoms when you develop your first crush. When for the first time, you start to look outside of yourself. You first ,perceive others as cooler, better, prettier, skinnier.... Oh, the list goes on.

During this time girls can, and will be, girls. Here is a brief shesaurus of girlisms- Girls are:

"Miss" understood

"Miss" represented

"Miss" interpreted

"Miss" directed

"Miss" communicated

"Miss" informed

And a lot of other Miss words I can't think of right now. But all of those are a story for another time.

Perception is reality. What a girl perceives to be true, is her reality. Oh and that perception, it gets a little cloudy for about a week or so each month.

*Enter Eve*

I believe Eve was framed. She gets a bad rap. She needed that apple. I mean, any woman will tell you - at length - about how important fiber is in our diets. Ladies - am I right or what?

Eve knew we were the stronger gender and "took one for the team". Bitch.

This is when Ophelia kicks into overdrive. We lose ourselves and let others lead us. This is vulnerability at it's greatest. But it is also a time for introspection, learning, and experiementation. We begin to experiement with our character. Who do I want to be? What do I stand for? Why did I think I EVER looked good in that?????

This is also when we can make grave, and impactful mistakes. It all starts with Eve.... and sex.

Yes. Sex. I threw it out there. It's a taboo subject but everone on this Earth is here because 2 people had sex. Look, well get into that in MUCH more depth in another blog... today, I am going to leave my young female padawans with just a few words of experience and personal wisdom:

Everyone makes mistakes. I make a lot. Daily.... on many, many levels. But just make sure they are mistakes you learn from. If you are a single lady - or even a married lady for that matter - sex is something we see or experience everyday.

It's on tv. It's in our magazines. It's in our music. It is ever present and always trying to influence who we are and who we want to become. Don't let what the media puts out, mold you too much.

I am not going to go on a World Tour titled "Let me tell you how you should be living your life!!" I know the minute I do that, or feel it from others, I put up my deflectors and use those bad boys like Wonder Woman's cool gold bangle bracelets. ( Those bracelets were SO cool! Fashionable AND Functional?? Oh my!!!)

But I will leave you with this - When you are trying to decide how, when, or if, here is a little diddy - or mantra if you will - that I replay in my head:

If you don't want to - you don't have to - Tell them to FLICK off! - The box is locked so go jerk off. ;) Yeah - you'll be using that one on your next girl's night out. And there are hand motions and everything....

Salutations

This is an experiement. Apparently in the media or writing world everyone has a blog. Employers are asking me for my blog as an example of personal writing. So.....here is my attempt.

I am funny. I am crazy. I am an enigma wrapped in a question mark without a theory. I am a force to be reckoned with.

Here are some things you need to know about me ;)

1.) 99% of the time I am being, (or trying to be), funny, or sarcastic. - “Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive” In fact one of my FAVORITE sites is http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/ I am not just a member.... I also sleep with the President!

A.) Laughter and the rush of seratonin that it brings is the BEST feeling in the WORLD!!!!! I LOVE to laugh. Even more than laughing, I LOVE making other people laugh.

B.) Bringing joy to someone around me makes me happier than any high on Earth. FUNNY is attractive, enlightening, and endearing. It also masks emotions you don't always want to share.

2.) I taught 11th grade English. That year is when I started to understand why some animals eat their young. I love teaching and instructing. I LOVE being the "guest star" - the speaker - the coach - the instructor. But I hated the negativity of some veteran teachers, parents, students, and Administration. However, I really have a cool way or connecting with this age group. I get them. They think I am lame. I find humor in that.

A.) I say WORD! A lot. Don't blame me. I learned it from Vanilla Ice. Word... to your Motha..... It's a real generational thing. Like, groovy, or awesome, or FfffffABUOoooooUuuuSSSS! I read. I like words. I like being "punny" - Yeah, that's a word.... google it.... google magic my friends....

B.) I can name MANY Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, REO Speedwagon, Styx or Mr. Big Songs. Ice Ice Baby..... Ninja Rap.... Can't Touch This.... 2-Legit .... Sailing.... I Just Wanna Be With You.... You name it - I danced to it or sang it on the bus to an away game in high school. - I even still remember my HS Alma Mater!!!!

C.) I write and give seminars on The Stages of Group Development. I am a MASTER at this. I have actually given my version of this seminar over 200 times. Yet.... I am still blind when it comes to my own situation. - “What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.” - Don Williams Jr.

D.) I have to have a D because I am a Libra. I like even numbers. I HATE odd numbers. They make me uncomfortable. Plus, it's kinda the - "Rule of Thumb" - (and I hate rule of thumb. It's history. The fact that husbands could beat their wives with a tree branch, or switch, that was no wider than their thumb). Yeah..... I would beat a mo fo's a$$!!!!

3.) You can only hurt me if I allow myself to love you first. The harder I love you, the more you can wound me. I love God, my family, and my friends. Especially the SUPERFRIENDS!!!!! the Superfriends are my everything. Hurt them....and you choose to wound me anyway. You deserve the wrath. I mean that. Hurting someone on purpose sucks. It's mean and you make Jesus cry when you do that. You deserve creepy crawly things invading your personal space if you do that. And you make me angry.... you won't like me when I'm angry....

A.) If I hurt you and know it - I am the FIRST person to say I am sorry. I am more sensitive than I let on. - I get SICK over hurting others. Unless you hurt my family....then we are.....DONE!!!

“Last night I had a revelation - Somehow I have to make you pay - It's all about manipulation - And what it takes to get my way - I don't believe in soft solutions - No one makes a fool of me - Without receiving retribution - No one hurts me and goes free - I'll play on your fears, - I'll leave you in tears - You'll never be the same, my friend - You're walking a line, it's a matter of time - You'll never rest easy again - I've got the power to bring you down - I've heard it said, to err is human - It's forgiveness that's divine - I thought about forgiving you, butI want revenge, I want what's mine - I think it's time to settle scores now - It's time to set the record straight - You'll know it's coming, you won't know how or when, - you'll have to watch and wait - I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears - You'll never be the same, my friend - You're walking a line, it's a matter of time - You'll never rest easy again - I've got the power to bring you down - You know, it feels intoxicating - To be intimidating - It's invigoratingTo see you shaking - I've got the power to bring you down - You know something, you see it coming, You know I will stop at nothing.” - Red Delicious

B.) I have diahrea of the mouth and actions at times. It's like emotional IBS. It seems to run in my gene pool. I keep pent up and unemotional for as long as I can.... and then SPLAT!!! Emotions everywhere. So.... you NEVER know what I am going to say. Take me with a grain of salt. I change my mind more often than I change my socks. All I can say is this blog.... this experiment.... it just promises to be entertaining for all of us.

4.) I live every moment of every day 100%. When I am happy, I laugh from the belly! When I am sad, I cry from my soul. I think depression is just anger without motivation. Most people wish they had 1 real moment. I have 100 a day. I am an inspiration and a fear at the same time. I am not afraid of failure.... actually, I am more afraid of success. I have been a mentor to many but very few people have tried to lead me. I wish I had more willing mentors.

5.) I have a weakspot for kids. Children are our future. Keep them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posess inside. Give them a sense of pride..... I love my kids MOST of all! I am one of those shallow, dilusional mothers who thinks she has THE CUTEST and FUNNIEST kids in the WORLD!!!!!

6.) I am going through a life change. I have what I call LSD dreams. I have NEVER done the drug but I have disturbing dreams where I can't tell reality from fantasy. I wake up A LOT at night. I feel stressed, angry, and frustrated due to dreams...... So it's hard for me to say I'd rather be awake when I fall asleep.....

But instead of stressing.... instead of letting the terrorists win.... I will write. I will use my very small sliver of alone time productively. Or Introspectively.

God Bless.